substiel:

Some guy just whistled at me while driving by and my dad goes “don’t worry, that was for me”

(via moistbottom)

50shadesofyodaddysdick:

boyfriend: what’s for dinner?

me:

image

(via moistbottom)

  • her: come over
  • me: i can't my dog just fell asleep on my lap
  • her: my parents aren't home
  • me: he is ASLEEP

telapathetic:

music is like a hug for ur ears

(via moistbottom)

vivalanorge:

England: colour
America: color
England: humour
America: humor
England: flavour
America: flavor
England: what are you doing
America: getting rid of u lmao

(via nice-wig-janis)

tinychatter:

you don’t realize how attached you are to someone until you go without talking to them for a bit

(via allmonds)

humorking:

so today in the dressing room there was this hot guy in his underwear so i decided to take a picture of his bulge and i forgot my fucking flash was on… finish the story yourself

(Source: humorking, via fake-mermaid)

kaliforhnia:

i have this crazy urge to txt you cause i miss you so much but then i remember you probably don’t miss me at all.

(via pizza)

theonethatwearssweatshirts:

pau1y:

what if instead of calling each other names we referred to each other by our most dominant feature

like ‘hey Nose’ or ‘hey Too Much Eyeliner’

that’s usually called bullying

(via wait--forit)

goldenxpvssy:

goals